Goldie Lookin Chain

I’ve seen chaos. I’ve seen carnage. I’ve seen grown men cry during a Ride encore. But nothing quite prepares you for the Goldie Lookin Chain experience in a packed Princess Pavilion on a Friday night. It's a Newport-flavoured fever dream wrapped in tracksuits, profanity, and pink wine.

Now, I have to admit, most of the gigs I go to involve people stood on the stage with guitars, there's a drum kit, amps etc set up before they come on, so it's a bit of a change to be staring at a completely empty stage before they come one. Empty that is apart from a huge weed leaf covered back rop and of course a Welsh flag!

Now, I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact (that I found out about 5 minutes before they came on) that Maggot left the band 10 years ago, but, from the moment they swagger onstage that's forgotten. It’s clear subtlety’s been left at the door. There’s about seven of them, give or take, all bouncing like they’ve just won £20 quid on a scratchcard and bought a kebab.

They immediately endear themselves to the local audience when Adam Hussein exclaims "We fuckin love Trago Mills" ...and we're all on the same page! It's hard to keep track of them they move so quickly around the stage, nobody stays still all night, it's hard to know who to watch, which keeps the eyes busy, the stage is certainly empty no more.

Your Missus Is a Nutter gets an airing early on and the place erupts. It’s part comedy, part rave, part therapy session, but lets face it, like most of their songs, in fact, all of them, it's just a great laugh!

There’s something oddly brilliant about how they balance satire with sincerity. You Knows I Loves You is delivered with genuine warmth, even if it’s wrapped in innuendo and weed references. Baneswell Express and 70’s Muff are pure GLC—absurd, filthy, and somehow still catchy. The crowd laps it up like it’s gospel.

Their biggest hit Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do gets the biggest reaction, and rightly so. Comedy lyrics aside, these guys have proper talent. Theres a huge amount of intricacy and timing involved in some of their deliveries and handovers between members. Nearly all of them get a lead rap at some point tonight and every time it's done skilfully, apart from the guy wearing the black and gold t-shirt, sensibly just on backing vocals, looks like he's had about 10 pints, but fair play, he managed not to fall over but just staggered around the stage with intent.

Newport State of Mind is a highlight—Jay-Z’s original never had this much swagger or civic pride. They follow it with This One Goes Out to the Ravers, which turns the Pavilion into a full-blown dancehall. The Middle of Lidl " It don't make sense, it don't make sense, wanted some milk came home with a fence" Pure genius!

They close with Your Mother’s Got a Penis, which is somehow both offensive and endearing. It’s the kind of track that shouldn’t work in 2025, but in this room, it absolutely does. No encore, just a final shout of “Safe as fuck Falmouth!” and they’re gone. Goldie Lookin Chain aren’t just a band. They’re a reminder that music can be stupid, smart, and joyful all at once. Tonight, they turn the Princess Pavilion into a temple of irreverence, and we leave with sore cheeks from laughing and a renewed appreciation for the lyrical genius of “I got a penis, and your mum’s got one too.” Support your local venues. And maybe your local Lidl.