Noel Gallagher is hosting The Radio X Residency, Sundays from 7pm – 9pm, throughout August and fans can catch up on last night’s show with Matt Morgan exclusively on Global Player.

NG: Noel Gallagher
MM: Matt Morgan

Noel Gallagher talks about hating tattoos but if he had to have one, it would be of a Lancashire Rose – VIDEO HERE

MM: Tattoos, I know you don’t like them, you don’t like them on people in general

NG: I just think right, when you see lads mainly with loads of tattoos, like those footballers right

MM: Full arm sleeves

NG: The tattoo on the leg, that’s particularly stupid isn’t it

MM: I like tattoos, I’m into it.

NG: You haven’t even got any!

MM: Oh yeah, I’ve never noticed that before [laughs]

NG: The tattoo on the leg, your missus is full of tattoos, she’s for some reason, your missus looks cool with tattoos. I don’t like tattoos on birds, with tattoos on their feet. That, no. Get that sorted out.

MM: My question is, I know you don’t like tattoos, but if you had to have one, what would it be and where on your body?

NG: Under what circumstances would one have to have a tattoo?

MM: In an imaginary world of this question, someone’s got a gun to your head and they say, you’ve got to have a tattoo

NG: You tattoo, now. What is it?

MM: And then they’ll go, but we’ve got one of the best artists to help you, sorry about the gun thing…

NG: Well I would probably do something…

MM: Man City?

NG: Yeah maybe a Lancashire rose and a…I haven’t got the brain capacity to even think of things like that. What is yours, a leopard?

MM: That’s my son’s name, that’s a lion

NG: What’s that? You think you’re brave like a lion?

MM: No, I’m a Leo so I have a connection to lions, it was in a history book and I liked it

NG: Why there?

MM: Because I like it! I could say to you, why have you got that hair, why have you got that little jacket

NG: I was born with this hair!

MM: Why have you got that strange little ring on your finger

NG: That ring’s amazing. A lot of people ask me about this ring. Right. […….] Here’s my point about tattoos, when you get to like seventy…

MM: No this is not true I know what you’re going to say

NG: What am I going to say?

MM: That they look rubbish and all blurry and saggy and you’ll look stupid

NG: But surely, a young guy or buff full of life, with his life in front of him, it’s a thing, they look quite whatever. But when you’re 70, decrepit, old and got massive ears and a big nose and hair growing out of your earholes it looks stupid doesn’t it? And as for women, when women get to 75 and they’ve got tattoos, I mean good god.

MM: Nah it’s an old fashioned stance

NG: Right then I’m old fashioned. Traditional I think you’ll find

Noel Gallagher reminisces about meeting Bee Gees’ Barry Gibb at Glastonbury and how he’s a “big fan”

NG: This documentary [How Can You Mend a Broken Heart], honestly I recommend it, it is unbelievable. You realise they were just writing hit after hit after hit for like 50 years or something. It’s like crazy, mad. One of my favourite ever songwriters. I met Barry [Gibb] at Glastonbury a few years back, I don’t do this often, but I happened to be backstage and there was his name on the door, and I’ve taken drinks onboard, I was on the way, essentially I was fine but I had taken alcohol, and I thought to myself, he’s from Manchester, he’ll be thrilled if I knock on his dressing room door. And his wife, of, who he’s been married to for 105 years, answered the door and went “oh my god no way!” and I said “is the big man in?” and she said “yes! Barry” and we kind of went in and there he was all six foot eight of him in his cowboy boots and blue guitar and I got my phone out and I don’t know why I did this, but I was trying to prove I was a big fan, I was like “look! I’ve got all your tunes” kind of thing and he was great, we sat down and had a 10 minute chinwag with him and he was an amazing dude.

MM: Did you say, show me your phone, show me the Oasis songs on your phone!

NG: And I meet Robin [Gibb] once at Jools Holland, he was great, I don’t think I’ve ever met Maurice, but I love the Bee Gees

Noel Gallagher talks about plans to sell his song rights in 2025 to buy his super yacht and call it ‘Mega Mega White Thing’ saying he’s “hell-bent” on buying it and says his rules on the boat would be “don’t make a mess”

MM: In 2025 you know when you get the song rights all back, you talked about this recently, have you thought anymore about selling them all and become uber rich or are you going to hang onto them for artistic integrity?

NG: Artistic integrity? What’s that?

MM: Exactly

NG: No, I’m hell-bent on buying a super yacht.

MM: Is that a joke or are you going to do that?

NG: No! I want to call it ‘Mega Mega White Thing’. I am.

MM: Because we spoke about this, and I thought it was a joke

NG: No it’s not a joke. No no no. I love being at sea, I love it. Ironically I can’t swim but there’s nothing better than horsing around on a boat.

MM: When you say I love being at sea, you’ve never, you’ve only been at sea on a nice yacht in nice weather

NG: Let me qualify this, not in a dingy, not sailing around the world with a tin of beans, someone else’s super yacht with a chef and all that.

MM: If the weather’s bad and you’re on a super yacht, it’s still bad isn’t it, you’re still rocking all over the place

NG: Not on mine it won’t be, because I’ll say to the captain, “El Capitano, let’s go to the nearest port.” Drop anchor and just go, and go and have it wrong.

MM: So would most of the partying be on the yacht?

NG: Non-stop party for five years.

MM: On the yacht or at the sort of harbours and places like Saint-Tropez

NG: It would probably be split equally, a lot of partying on the boat

MM: Would you let randoms come back on the boat?

NG: Well if by randoms you mean fit birds, then yes. If by randoms you mean fellas, then probably not.

NG: There won’t be many rules on the boat apart from, you know don’t make a mess.

MM: Do you tell people that as they come up the gangplank. Right…

NG: No there will be a big flashing sign. Don’t make a mess, or thou shalt walk the plank!

MM: Would you ever go on a jet ski?

NG: Never been on a jet ski

MM: Because you can’t swim, but even with a life jacket?

NG: Uhm, I’ve often seen people messing around on them and I thought, I’d probably be able to do that, but I dono. You hear horror stories about people breaking their collarbones and all that

MM: I think if you can’t swim should stay away from it

NG: The selling of the copyright, yeah I’m interested in selling it. Only to further my fantasy of buying a super yacht.

MM: Can you afford a super yacht now? I’m sure you could.

NG: No

MM: You can afford to rent one?

NG: Maybe I suppose…No they’re like a lot of money. The ones I’m talking about…

MM: 100 million?

NG: About that yeah, you’d say that.