The former Oasis star intends to booze his way through the crisis at his home with his wife Sara MacDonald now that all his upcoming concerts have had to be postponed or cancelled due to the pandemic.
As no pubs are open, Noel is making sure he adds to his alcohol collection every time he goes out.
Speaking on Matt Morgan's Funny How? Podcast, Noel said: "I've been panic buying booze. Now that the pubs are shut the only thing to now is to drink your way through it.
"If you don't leave the house you'll be OK. I don't see anybody anyway, I ride my bike where I live and you get the odd car on the road but I don't stop to talk to anybody. I can easily shut the door and stay in."
The 52-year-old songwriter described how he began panic buying alcohol after noticing it had all sold out in his local supermarket.
Noel, who now lives in Hampshire, explained: "We're out of London, so well away from the mad house, we're alright. I live 75 miles outside of London now, so it's different out here, I was in the supermarket because I wanted to see the bare shelves. I was in there because I thought, 'I'll get a load of booze'. And all that was there was a load of gluten-free Peroni. All the beers were gone!
The 'Wonderwall' hitmaker - who has two sons Donovan, 12, and Sonny, nine - also expressed bemusement at people panic buying toilet roll when the respiratory illness doesn't affect your bowells.
Noel remarked: "What I want to know is what is it with the toilet roll? I live in ignorant bliss of everything, I don't watch the news, but when I heard that people were buying toilet roll, I thought, 'Oh, does it give you the s**ts?' It was like, 'No.'
"But people are mass buying toilet roll and hand sanitiser. I'm just going to wipe my a*** with one of my children."
Noel - who has spurned his estranged brother Liam's request to reform Oasis for a charity gig after the pandemic ends - also admits that he feels "f***ing lucky" as he is a better position than others to deal with the disease.
He said: "It's s**t, and for some of us it's less s**t than everyone else, and for that we should be thankful. I feel very f***ing