Sean 'Diddy' Combs broke down in tears as he relived the tragic death of ex Kim Porter in a new interview.
The 49 year old sat down with filmmaker, writer and friend Dream Hampton for the May (19) issue of Essence magazine and discussed his grief over losing Porter, the mother of three of the rap mogul's children. Porter died of pneumonia at her Los Angeles home in November (18).
Diddy appears on the cover of the publication with the former couple's 12-year-old twin daughters, D'Lila and Jessie, and his 13-year-old daughter Chance from a previous relationship, and audio from the emotional interview was released on Thursday (09May19) as part of the magazine's Yes, Girl podcast.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do," Diddy said as he paid tribute to the late model. "I'm gonna figure something out, though. This hurts so much. I know that people want to hear, like, the good stuff... it hurts. There ain't no way around that... I wanted to do (the interview) 'cause I wanted to let everybody know... I don't think anybody could ever understand how hard it is to be a black mother."
He added, "It was a total shock and a surprise and it really, really woke me up just as far as it just turned everything upside down," he said about Porter's death. "It was the craziest, most traumatic thing I've ever been through. When they say it hits home or cuts deep or your world gets turned upside down, it was all of that in one."
The hip hop mogul also revealed opened up about the regrets he has about how he and Porter split.
"I wasn't being honest, all the way, honest with my love for her, to myself and even to other people that I was in a relationship with," he admitted. "I don't have no regrets how things went. They went the way God wanted them to go. But I was playing with love and it's not really to be played with. I definitely took for granted that she would just be with me forever. I took for granted that something like this could happen."
