The shock the music world felt over the death of Keith Emerson was only increased when it was ruled that the keyboardist had committed suicide.

Emerson, who played with a number of bands including Emerson, Lake and Palmer, was found dead in his California home on Friday afternoon by his girlfriend, Mari Kawaguchi from a single gunshot to the head.

Kawaguchi has since talked with the U.K.’s Daily Mail, telling them that Emerson was constantly worried that he no longer was able to play at a level he had in the past and that he would be a disappointment to his fans. “His right hand and arm had given him problems for years. He had an operation a few years ago to take out a bad muscle but the pain and nerve issues in his right hand were getting worse. He had concerts coming up in Japan and even though they hired a back-up keyboard player to support him, Keith was worried.”

Emerson was scheduled for two nights in Osaka and five in Tokyo, Japan during the month of April.

Kawaguchi went on to say “He read all the criticism online and was a sensitive soul. Last year he played concerts and people posted mean comments such as, ‘I wish he would stop playing.’ He was tormented with worry that he wouldn’t be good enough. He was planning to retire after Japan. He didn’t want to let down his fans. He was a perfectionist and the thought he wouldn’t play perfectly made him depressed, nervous and anxious.”

VVN Music