Courtney Love still "battles through" the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death.
The musician was married to the late Nirvana rocker when he committed suicide in April 1994. It was estimated he died on April 5 aged 27 and with the 20th anniversary of his death approaching, Courtney, 49, has opened up about the pain she continues to feel.
"Kurt's death was just the biggest low, man," she revealed to NME magazine. "I have my own private stuff that I do [to mark it] that I don't really wanna share with the world. It's just my thing. It still makes me sad that it happened, every single day. On the anniversary day itself, you sort of just battle through it. I do my chanting and my praying."
Courtney married Kurt in 1992 and in March 1994 it's thought he made the first attempt to take his own life. When he was found dead the next month, there was a shotgun pointing at his chin and a high concentration of heroin was discovered in his body, along with traces of diazepam.
While many continue to celebrate Kurt's death, Courtney is keener to look back at his achievements while alive.
"I don't know if I'm playing [a gig on the anniversary] - I don't want to, really. I don't like the message that it sends out," she explained. "I'd rather celebrate his birthday than celebrate his death day, but people tend to celebrate the death day, don't they? Even with Elvis and Lennon, that's just the tradition of how it happens in rock'n'roll, I guess."
There are rumours a biopic and a documentary about the famous member of the 27 Club - celebrities such as Amy Winehouse, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin who all died at that age - are in the works. Courtney also gave fans hope for a possible Broadway show.
"After being swarmed by tons of Nirvana fan mail and social media posts pushing for a musical to become a reality, both Frances [Bean Cobain, Kurt and Courtney's daughter] and I have thought long and hard and agreed that if we can reach up to the highest shelf and select a team of the greatest and most respected writers, producers and directors, then a Broadway musical is very likely to happen," she promised.
"There would have to be a story, and a great story, one that hasn't been told before. I would devote countless hours with an A-team to create a project that reflects Kurt in the most respectful but honest way possible, so that his story, his music and his legacy can be resurrected on stage for not only the world to see, but more importantly for our daughter to see. I know her father's spirit will be on that stage, and sitting in that theatre with her will be the most emotional experience of our lives."