Kelly Rowland is “nervous as hell” about seeing her estranged father.

The 30-year-old singer has had a fractured relationship with her dad Christopher Lovett. However, she has now decided to mend bridges and plans to spend some time with him over Christmas.

“I do plan on seeing him over the holidays. I’m nervous as hell. I don’t want to think about it. We’ll see what happens,” she told the January issue of Marie Claire.

Kelly has previously revealed her father was an abusive alcoholic and she hasn’t seen him since she was a child.

Her mother Doris Rowland Garrison left Christopher when Kelly was seven and they later relocated to Houston.

The star admits she doesn’t have many happy memories of him.

“They’re pretty bleak, to be honest,” she explained. “My earliest memories of him are short visits. It wasn’t really bonding time. Me and my mom were always chasing after him. As a kid, that’s not a good feeling.”

Kelly made the decision to repair the rift with her father after seeing him in a magazine. The star was surprised by how she reacted when she saw his photo.

“A couple of weeks ago, I was reading through a magazine and I saw a picture of him [her father]. I didn’t even know who it as until I read the caption. I completely lost it. My camp saw me disappear into the bathroom and they were like, ‘What happened?’” Kelly recalled.

“I didn’t know there was so much emotion still there. You close so many different things of your life, and I like to shut them off and keep moving. But, in that moment, it just sucked everything out of me and I cried so hard. There were so many different emotions – confusing more than anything. I was like, ‘Who is that?’ I haven’t seen him for 22 years.”

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