08 September 2019
Newsdesk
The 28-year-old Little Mix star recently admitted she attempted to take her own life after being subjected to online trolls who bullied her over her appearance, and in her upcoming BBC documentary 'Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out' - which airs on Thursday (12.09.19) - her band mates explain what it was like to witness Jesy go through the ordeal.
Jade Thirwall, 26, says in the documentary: "The three of us didn't know what to do.
"We just had to watch this amazing, funny girl become a bit like a broken doll. It was horrible.
"I remember feeling really angry. I wanted to just find every single person that had ever said anything horrible to her, look them in the eye and say, 'Look what you've done to this girl'.
"Every single person that said something should have been held accountable for making her feel like that."
In the film, Jesy - who is also joined in Little Mix by Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Perrie Edwards - explains that she tried to kill herself with an overdose in November 2013, and was saved by her then-boyfriend.
She said: "My ex who was with me at the time, he woke up and he was like, 'Why are you crying?'
"I kept saying, 'I just want to die, I just want to die'. And he was like, 'Why are you saying that for?' And I was like, 'Because I do, I just want it to go away'.
"He was trying to make me be sick in the bathroom and then the ambulance came.
"The doctor said, 'You're so lucky you didn't take any more because that would have been it. You could have done severe, severe damage to yourself'."
And although Jesy - who is now in a relationship with Chris Hughes - is now learning to love herself and embrace her body, there has been a lasting impact.
Leigh-Anne, 27, revealed: "She is a little bit of a nightmare when it comes to video shoots and photoshoots. It has been a bit hard within the group.
"People don't realise what bullying and trolling can do to someone. The trolls took away her love for it and her passion. But how does she get that back? How does she go back to feeling confident and feeling amazing from all that s**t that happened to her?"
Whilst 26-year-old Perrie added: "It's weird, because the more you compliment her and the more you try to tell her she looks incredible, the more she's like, 'No I don't'. And she's adamant."
Jesy believes she never "recover properly".
She said: "My trauma does really run deep and I may not ever really recover properly.
"There's a lot of pressure to look good in music videos so if you don't feel good it's really hard to pretend to feel amazing.
"I want to perform and be myself but I just look s**t and uncomfortable. I just look like a fat, ugly rat."
'Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out' airs on BBC1 at 9pm on Thursday (12.09.19).
