Noel Gallagher: 'I’d rather eat my own s**t than listen to that bozo f**king murder his own songs'

Noel Gallagher at the Isle of Wight Festival: “I’d rather eat my own s**t than watch him murder his songs.”

Noel Gallagher spoke to Absolute Radio presenters Pete Donaldson and Sarah Champion backstage at the Isle of Wight Festival 2019. Whilst there, he laid into his brother Liam (to put it lightly), spoke about how he captained the Ferry over to the Isle of Wight with Peter Hook - ruining a fan’s day in the process and regaled his hatred of American bands headlining festivals. It’s good have you back Noel! We have a feeling Liam won’t stay quiet on this latest slagging from his brother…

Noel on if he’d rather watch Man United win a quadruple, or watch Liam at Wembley doing only his new stuff:
“I think I’d rather eat my own shit. I’d rather put shit on a pizza and be force fed it than listen to that bozo f**king murder his own songs. I’d do it in disguise though, I’d get dressed up like a fisherman and go to one of his gigs with four pairs of sunglasses on. I’d be like ‘fuck off, no you f**k off, you f**k off, no you f**k off.’ I’ll slowly watch burning an effigy in myself being hoisted above the stage at some point.”

On captaining the ferry over to the festival:
“I was on the ferry with Peter Hook. I can’t say what actually happened because somebody will get the sack. I had the hat on and I thought, you know I’ve got the hat on now, you know let’s bring her in! I got on the mic: ‘would the foot passengers please form an orderly queue and vehicle passengers can you queue up by the gangplank.’”

On ruining one lucky fan’s day:
“Some guy came up to me, he had a lanyard on and he was showing me his name. His name was something Gallagher and he said ‘I think we’re related you know,’ I was like oh right, I said ‘how’s that then?’ He said, ‘well my aunt Mary right she’s still alive, she tells me that we’re probably related cause she knows your aunties and like all our family are from Newcastle too.’ And I was going right well I’m from Manchester. There was kind of a long silence and ruined his f**king day”.

On American bands and the state of British music:
“The Killers headline every festival, they even headline two festivals all at the same time. I did a European tour last year and I did every festival known to man and The Killers or the Foo Fighters or the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, were on all at the same time. If it’s not them it’s the fucking Kings of Leon, I don’t know what’s wrong with British music these days but fucking yanks it’s all with the pyrotechnics and shit pattern in between songs and fucking hydraulic drum rises”.



Credit: Speaking to Absolute Radio at the Isle of Wight Festival. www.absoluteradio.co.uk