Katy Perry was suspended from sixth grade for making out with a tree.
The pop star thought it would be a hoot to pretend the trunk was Tom Cruise and she started showing pals what she'd do if it was the Hollywood star.
The principal at the faith-based school wasn't amused and he sent Katy home with a note, which the 34 year old found and posted on her Instagram Story over the weekend.
"At the 2:00pm recess, Katy and four other students were in an 'off-limits' area... practicing a skit. Katy pretended that a tree was Tom Cruise and began making sexual motions (‘pelvic thrusts’) to the tree,” the suspension notice, dated 14 November, 1996, reads.
"When Katy met with (her teachers) she was asked to describe or demonstrate what she had been seen doing in the playground in front of some other students. Katy chose to describe it. Her words were 'it was inappropriate' and 'like making out'."
According to the note, the I Kissed a Girl hitmaker also used the words "p**sed off" and "used the Lord's name" in vain during her explanation.
The hilarious note continues: "Katy was seen by 2 teachers outside their classrooms doing the Macarena dance in which she made body movements with sexual overtones (described by one teacher as being 'like an exotic dancer')."
The suspension notice also calls attention to the fact the young Katy has been warned about wearing "crop tops with her bare midriff showing".
The note ends with a request for the future star's parents to join her teachers for a "hearing".