Ariana Grande emotionally reflected on "one of the worst years" of her life as she accepted a Billboard Women in Music Award on Thursday (06Dec18).
The No Tears Left To Cry singer was honoured with the Woman of the Year prize at New York's Pier 36, and admitted in her acceptance speech that although she was having successful year professionally, such as achieving her first U.S. number one single with Thank U, Next, her personal life hasn't been so great. Ariana split from fiance Pete Davidson in October, a month after the death of her former long-term boyfriend Mac Miller.
"I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years in my career and one of like the worst years in my life," she said, holding tears back. "I'm just saying that because I feel like a lot of people would look at someone in my position right now I guess; Woman of the Year, an artist that could be at her peak, reaching her you know, whatever, and think, you know, 'She's really got her s**t together; she's really on it; she has got it all'.
"I do, but as far as my personal life goes I really have no idea what the f**k I am doing... So yeah, it's been a very conflicting one. I just want to say if you're someone out there who has no idea what this next chapter is going to bring, you're not alone in that."
Ariana, who confessed she felt "completely undeserving" of the honour, then lightened the mood by joking that she wasn't going to cry because "that's really annoying", before concluding with her hopes for the new year.
"I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I've given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself, hopefully, this year," she declared. "I have everything I've ever dreamt of having, and as of late I've discovered that it's the things I've always had and the people I've always had that still make me the happiest."
At the ceremony, SZA received the Rule Breaker Award, country singer Kacey Musgraves was honoured with the Innovator Award, and Cyndi Lauper took home the Icon prize. Other winners included Hayley Kiyoko and Janelle Monae.