added: 8 Oct 2012 // by: Music-News.com Newsdesk
Tulisa has opened up about her relationship 'rules'. Speaking exclusively to Cosmopolitan she states:
'I do believe it will come to the stage where men and women can approach sex however they want without being judged. I am personally really reserved when it comes to sex. I want to save it for something special. My wish is that men would start thinking like that as well, rather than women thinking like men. I'm all about equality. I need to find someone who sees me as his equal and respects me the same way as he would his mate.'
'When I was younger, I made mistakes and ended up sleeping with guys too soon, then they'd dump me and not want to be in a relationship with me. I learnt early on that, OK, it doesn't work like that.'
'Yeah, I do have a rule. if we have sex, we're going to be in a relationship. I have to know that I've either fallen in love or I can fall in love with this man before I take that step.'
But, having split from Jack O'Connell earlier this year, she reveals she doesn't need a man right now:
'I've jumped from relationship to relationship all my life. This is the first time that I've been single for so long, and it's only been two or three months. But I feel like now I'm actually alright without anybody. The only thing I miss is the physical contact, in an affectionate way ' and sexually, too.'
Discussing her sex tape ordeal, she admits she felt 'violated' in what was the 'worst time' of her life:
'I'm over the whole thing now, but at the time it did f**king hurt and it takes a lot for me to even admit that, because I always say I'm fine. But that was the worst time of my life. But to me it was literally the worst possible thing for my career and what I stand for. and it was the most humiliating thing ever for me. It was a private moment and it was devastating enough that it was out there in the first place. I felt violated.'
From the depths of despair she reveals how she found the strength to fight back:
'It was my natural instinct kicking in ' it was me defending myself. I don't know what he [Justin] expected. I think he thought if he released it I would stay quiet and sweep it under the carpet, but I was like, hell no ' if I'm going down, you're going down with me. I'm going to hang you out to dry.'
Despite her darkest year to date, it hasn't changed the way she feels about men:
'I know all men are not the same. He [Justin] was just a twat; I kind of had a sense of that all along. My last boyfriend, Jack [O'Connell], was one of the most genuine guys I've ever met. For him to come along at that time was so perfect. He's never spoken about us publicly. He restored my faith that there are still good guys out there.'
Discussing what drives her to do well, she says it's not about fame. All she wants is success and she'll never stop aiming higher:
'I don't want the fame or the attention; I want the success. There's always higher to go. Once I achieve something, though, I always focus on reaching for the next goal. If you don't keep stepping up to the next level, then you just stop and think there's nowhere to go. I look around me and there are other artists doing stuff on a bigger scale, and I've got to be up there. I should be around the world by now!'
It's her success to date that's landed her one the most coveted jobs on TV. Speaking of X Factor she reveals what she thinks of fellow female judge Nicole Scherzinger:
'Nicole is lovely. There will be no fights between us. We're complete opposites and she brings out the more sensitive side in me. There is a beast inside Nicole, though, if you push her. She would bite your f**king head off. That girl has got so much fire, but ' unlike me ' she keeps it reserved, whereas I wear my fire on the outside!'
And she's not bothered if one of her girls doesn't win this year:
'I know that everyone will assume I want to win again this year ' especially after the year I've had ' but I'm not bothered. It's not about me, it's about the contestants, and I believe in righteousness. I want the right person to win, whether they are in my category or not.'
The full interview appears in the November issue of Cosmopolitan, on sale 11th October.